Unless I go down the Michael Jackson route - the blue eyes give it away - no matter how aggresively I get the tan on. Obviously life here is different so in order to fit in and feel comfortable in Medellin, it is important to learn the way of the Paisa (person of Medellin) !! Here is the first part of my guide to living like a local.
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| My New Look |
Disclaimer: Sorry to my Colombian friends if there are a few generalisations...but you guys think all the Irish are running around drunk after leprechauns looking for that pot of gold (this is a view held by a lot people I meet around the world... *cough* Americans *cough*)
To start Im going to devote a full post to step 1...this is vital !
Step 1: Punctuality
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| Translation - Be on time and Be a good person and Be very good-looking |
I have a love/hate relationship with Colombians' view on punctuality.
I like how they are never in a rush and seeing a Paisa in a hurry is like a solar eclipse...doesn't happen often, is amazing to see, but it may turn you blind.
For example - its 8:05 a.m. You were meant to be in work 5 minutes ago but you just need that coffee or tinto to get you going.
From my experience what usually happens is you get into Starbucks fast, get that bad boy to go and risk third degree burns sprinting on the streets with the questionable safety of the to-go lid.
But here in Medellin?? Hold up...I'm going to enjoy that coffee and you know what, throw in an empanada or pastry. (Actually I'm surprised the slow pour coffee culture hasn't here arrived yet - wait is that a business idea !?!) This is just an example of how Colombians are just more chilled out - enjoy the little things in life. Thats the positive box ticked...time to get on with the rant.
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| Oh Look Im late for work! |
One of the things you need to get used to here is that Paisas wont arrive on time. 9 times out of 10 you are left waiting. There is an acceptable range of being 30 minutes late here...without needing to explain yourself!
So now when I arrange to meet friends I ask "Is that 8:30 Irish time or Colombian time?". Hint - Its always Colombian!! I'm going to be honest - I know they are going to be late but unfortunately I still arrive on time or early...which leads to a nice wait.
(On another point - seeing a Colombian and unsuspecting German arrange a fixed time or appointment is one of lifes little pleasures...should you tell the German ??? Nope hahaha).
Rudi and Carlos are going to go to the hairdressers together
Ok...so they aren't the best time keepers but you see they are crafty people these Paisas. The language has allowed them to bullshit and trick us gullible gringos. Here are a few common terms used by Paisas and their literal and true meanings.
- Ya salgo
- Definition -- "I have already left!"
- Expectation -- the person is en route!
- Truth -- I have decided I will leave at some future point...but I also have to have something to eat and finish watching these funny videos on YouTube.
- Ya estoy llegando
- Definition -- "I am already arriving!"
- Expectation -- he/she is in the building. Lets get ready to wave and greet them!
- Truth -- the person is ready to leave their house...but has to touch up makeup or find the car keys or will shortly begin their 10 minute walk to the metro to begin the journey of 20 minutes to the meeting point.
- Ahorita
- Definition -- right now
- Expectation -- this instant, immediately
- Truth -- anywhere in a 30 min to 8 hour timeframe.
- Ahorita mas tarde
- Definition -- right now later on (!?!)
- Expectation -- soon, you wont wait too long.
- Truth -- anywhere in 1 hour to 5 days timeframe.
- _________
- Definition -- Silence
- Expectation -- Nothing left to say or clear up
- Truth -- They aren't coming but they don't have the heart to tell you (aka they dont answer messages or calls but they are posting Selfies and Shakira videos on facebook :)
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| Yea Im Already at the Cinema - YA!!! |
Actually it's all a bit endearing. I have a few friends who try their best to arrive on time - they never do but I like to think they are trying. It's like the Irish playing basketball - we have all the best intentions in the world, try our best...but we have to admit its not going to work out.
My favorite story to tell about Colombians and punctuality is when I had an interview for a language school last year. The interview was set for 7 a.m. (yes!! wtf...but they get going early here.) I knew this was bullshit but I went along with it.
Usually I would arrive 15 mins before an interview but here I went with 5 mins.
So i arrived, introduced myself to the receptionist and said I was here to meet Señora Catarina. Her reply?
"Ya ella esta llegando - Take a seat".
Tick rock...15 mins went by...30 mins...at 7:40 the Señora of the momento arrives - with a croissant in hand.
"Ya hablamos"...another 10 mins went by...so at 7:50 the began the interview.
After a few questions I got asked this - "As we are a professional school, punctuality is of extreme importance! Are you a punctual and trust worthy person ?"
I think a blood vessel burst in my head - this lady, a Colombian asking me am I punctual !?! After my near hour wait, politely I reassured the señora "Yes!"...to which she finished the last bite of her croissant.
Wait - More proof you say??
Recently I went to see the new Avengers movie - the listed start time was 6:15 so I arrived at 6:10, got the trailers. So it was 6:15 and in a screen with about 100 seats there were 8 of us.
By the time the opening credits rolled I counted about 20. They continued to slowly filter in. Amazingly around 40 mins in (and by this stage Iron Man had blew up a lot of shit!) still people were arriving in - popcorn and coke in hand - which makes me wonder - if you are already missing a quarter of the movie...do you really need to line up for a gallon of Postobon Manzana? As it turns out.. Yes!
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| It was worth missing half the Avengers!! |
Other punctuality themed highlights:
- the line up of about 1,000 people outside the stadium.... 30 mins after the game has started!
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| If everyone pushes we will all get in faster |
- the line up at every bank at 5:05 - even though the bank has closed at 5:00 - and complaining if they aren't left in :)
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| I do love line ups |
So thus ends part one of my guide to being Paisa - Punctuality.
Its an endearing but frustrating trait of the Paisa...but it is how it is.
I like how they are chilled out, enjoying the slow Latin culture but its still a struggle to get used to. Nobody ever rushes; walking as if they are enjoying a summer stroll on the promenade - when in fact they had classes 10 minutes ago. (Strangely enough everyone in a car seems to be in a hurry. Also everyone leaves paying bills to last minute. Im beginning to think deep down the Paisa has a masochistic fetish for line ups.)
Tune in soon for Part 2 - should be up in an hour, day,week...lets just say Ahorita. Whats the rush anyway !?!
lol
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