This is going to be my final instalment of my guide to living like a Paisa and is going to cover a number of important topics. Not all my Colombian friends are going to agree with these...but hey Im a Gringo...I'll do what I want!
Family
Paisas are very close to their families. Coming from Europe where we want to escape our parents clutches and be independent from about 15 this can be difficult to understand. In Ireland a phone call from the Mother usually leads to a "Ah Jaysus, what did I do?" response but here they love it. Im on the other side of the world and my contact with the parents amounts to a 15 minute Skype every two weeks, in which after 5 minutes we run out of "news" and Im asked about the weather and told about that man up the road - who I don't know ("Ah you do know John!?!?") - whos cousins horse got put down.
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| Sunday Best |
My friends here speak to the Mama everyday. A couple of time a day you will here "Hola Mama". Even if they still live at home there are daily phone calls. A few times I have been out with friends at night and the parents would call to check in. I don't think anyone in Cork would be running out of Havanas Niteclub to take a 2 a.m. call from their parents and to let them know that they have only had the one jaegerbomb.
Sunday is Family Day here in Medellin, and most of Latin America. Whole families are seen hand in hand in parks, shopping malls or just sitting in the streets. The family can amount to a few hundred cousins, nieces, nephews and anyone else with a connection. They will spend the day laughing, singing and of course eating. I have to admit its really cool to see this - from my orphan viewpoint :-(
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| My future self on the right |
From my experience at home, the last thing we want to do is spend Sunday with our families and we just want to be left in peace to suffer through the hangover and watch some Super Sunday. I really like the idea that people here have strong family ties and remain close. Even though this leads to a few Paisas struggling to have independence, I give thumbs up to the Familia. So if you are going to be a Paisa you need to get used to the Sunday Roast lasting 4 hours and be happy to hear Uncle Joe singing traditional songs for the afternoon.
Driving
Where to begin on this one. I don't want to say there are no rules and that drivers here are a bit mental....but Im struggling to defend the Paisas on this one. The roads of Medellin resemble a WWE Royal Rumble.
Cars vs Taxis vs Buses vs Trucks vs Motorbikes vs Scooters vs Cyclists
(Pedestrians are an unfortunate bystander)
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| Lets Get Ready to Rumble!! |
You see everyone thinks they own the road and that the other vehicles and drivers are like those banana skins in Mario Kart, just avoid them anyway you can and don't let it stop you. I use public transport a lot as the buses will get you anywhere you want...but its not for the faint hearted. Usually you assume that those driving public transport like buses and taxis would drive the most cautious as they are responsible for the 30+ people they have on board. Buses do not follow this thinking here. Buses speed around, bouncing around the roads - it actually seems that stopping to let people on and off is an inconvenience to the drivers. And don't think they will let you take a seat before they speed off again - I have seen old women and people on crutches being thrown around the bus as they try to make it to their seats. Its like watching a sort of challenge on a television game show. Oh and don't think there is a capacity to buses either - they will push as many people on as possible which makes an evening rush hour trip in 30 degrees heat quite interesting.
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| Was only a tap |
Accidents are frequent - in the last week I have seen three cyclists on their asses at the hands of taxis. Its actually impressive that there aren't as many. So I don't know if that means they are really good drivers or really bad. Lanes are just nice lines that someone has painted on the streets and it seems like indicators are just for show - like some fancy lights that xZibit has put on your car to Pimp Your Ride. This has led to me often having to jump out of the way of cars that decided that the right indicator was good enough to turn left.
If all else fails the drivers just wave a hand out the window - this hand gesture is enough to let you do anything you want - U-Turn, reverse back down the motorway or cross 6 lanes. So if you are going to drive like a Paisa you better have been good at those crazy driving games when you were young.
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| Check Out These Indicators |
If all else fails the drivers just wave a hand out the window - this hand gesture is enough to let you do anything you want - U-Turn, reverse back down the motorway or cross 6 lanes. So if you are going to drive like a Paisa you better have been good at those crazy driving games when you were young.
Playing too much Gran Theft Auto
Disclaimer: Im actually lucky that my friends with cars drive really well - or else my mother would be sending litres of Holy Water.
Sugar
If you are going to devote yourself to being a full Paisa - you might have to risk becoming a diabetic. These peeps have got a sweet tooth. A little coffee usually comes with 3/4 sachets of sugar. Every coffee place or Panaderia I go to there is the running joke that I am the guy who doesn't take sugar. Apparently its strange that I don't want to have more sugar than coffee in the cup. Im usually forced to take the sugar anyway which means I have a nice collection back in my place....you know for the rainy day.
Go ask for a juice and you will see ladles of sugar go into the blender. I always have to ask for no sugar - a thing a few people just disregard. Ok some fruits are sour and need a little bit of sweetening....but my God why are you putting a half kilo of sugar into a strawberry or mango juice..."Wont anyone think of the Diabetes!?!"
Breads that Im assured are 100% Brown or Integral and aren't sweet usually wind up being like a Croissant. And if you still aren't satisfied theres usually a bottle of condensed milk lying around the place to make sure you get that sweet hit. So embrace the sugar people!!!
Pride
Colombians are proud people - Paisas especially. They are proud of their country, city and their culture. Of special interest to me is the fact they are so proud of their sporting heroes. Last years World Cup saw everyone proudly and fanatically supporting the football team. At the moment they are shouting on Nairo in the Tour De France, long jumpers, basketballers and anyone who has an attachment to Colombia. There isn't a bad word to be said. James Rodriguez is a hero - even Falcao the fallen hero is still loved.
Now in Ireland we aren't as proud or supportive of our stars - Robbie Keane - our leading goalscorer of all time is usually shouted at and we prefer to focus on the bad things than the good things he has done. Maybe its just our Irish mentality - we usually prefer to have something to moan about than when things are all going well. Just take a look at how much people love the misery of Liveline with Joe Duffy - we don't do the proud Irish thing. Even Conor McGregor who is doing well for himself in UFC and making people around the world look at the Irish as more than drunken brawlers - and just brawlers, has been taking criticism. My Dad called him a "Gobshite" - a traditionally proud adjective we have for our greatest and most famous.
Now in Ireland we aren't as proud or supportive of our stars - Robbie Keane - our leading goalscorer of all time is usually shouted at and we prefer to focus on the bad things than the good things he has done. Maybe its just our Irish mentality - we usually prefer to have something to moan about than when things are all going well. Just take a look at how much people love the misery of Liveline with Joe Duffy - we don't do the proud Irish thing. Even Conor McGregor who is doing well for himself in UFC and making people around the world look at the Irish as more than drunken brawlers - and just brawlers, has been taking criticism. My Dad called him a "Gobshite" - a traditionally proud adjective we have for our greatest and most famous.
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| "I mean Joe, they even have the dogs in jerseys...horrible Joe" |
Its great to see people here show pride - song on through victories and defeats and actually support their heroes.
Fans celebrate beating Brazil
Communication
Paisas have a language all of their own - slang, sayings and dialects. Soon Im going to do a guide on communicating here in Medellin but there is one particularly important method of communication here that is vital if you are to become a Paisa - the whistle.
The whistle can apply to anything - calling your kids for dinner, calling that guy with the newspapers or as a chat up line for that hot mamacita. The thing is that everyone seems to have their own whistle - its like a sort of mating call. In a group of 2000 people one whistle and you can easily find your friend or missing child - they will be the only people who register this sound. Sometimes I think that David Attenborough should do some sort of nature show on this - its pretty amazing.
Fashion
Colombians are very image conscious and more so in Medellin. Paisas like to look good and feel good. Which makes it very strange that two particular pieces of clothing are so popular here - the Bumbag and Crocs.
Bumbags (or Riñoneras) are seen everywhere. To most of us in Ireland and Canada - these are the truly awful accessory that your Dad would wear on holidays - for security of course - and lead to us walking at a distance of 20 metres behind to avoid anyone thinking we are with the weirdo with the bumbag.
But in Medellin every has one - at the gym, going for a run, salespeople, business men - even teenagers who are fashion savvy will throw one on to go do exercise or for a night out. Maybe they are ahead of the times and I should be buying shiploads for the European market. But its still strange to see. I have almost been peer pressured into getting one.
But in Medellin every has one - at the gym, going for a run, salespeople, business men - even teenagers who are fashion savvy will throw one on to go do exercise or for a night out. Maybe they are ahead of the times and I should be buying shiploads for the European market. But its still strange to see. I have almost been peer pressured into getting one.
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| Which One Today? |
Crocs too look like they are taking over. I have never owned a pair but I am assured they are comfortable....for around the house or garden. Once again here in Medellin everyone wears them. I have seen them on the buses, in the centre, in bars, in nightclubs, shopping malls and at the gym. If that isn't enough you couldn't just have a plain pair of Crocs - you need to have some charms on them to make them look classy - a few angry birds or football team crests - just to pimp them a bit. Im not getting on board with this - which could lead me to failing becoming a true Paisa.
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| Just Wrong |
So those were a few of my observations on the steps you need to take to become a True Paisa.
Some of my steps were mainly trying to show some of the big differences and was definitely tongue in cheek. But the main thing to take out of my guide is this.
Paisas are the most generous, friendly and welcoming people you could wish to meet in your life. I have traveled a lot and I have never seen somewhere like this - the love, the pride, the smiles.
So even if you have to put up with diabetes and a few near death experiences on the roads - there is nobody you would rather meet than a Paisa!!
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| Im A Paisa |
